The Black Presidents Obama Should Thank

We all know that Barack Obama was elected as this country's first Black President but he really isn't the first Throughout the media there have been many black presidents, some of whom I think he should thank for his election as much as he thanked voters.

President David Palmer.

I've been re-watching 24 via Netflix. Its an awesome show no doubt but the main reason I started watching wasn't because of Jack Bauer's kickassness. It was because of the black man who was running for president in season one and was president in later seasons. Palmer was a very honest and caring man which made him a great president. He handled a lot of controversies well throughout the series, dealt with ridiculous amounts of assassination attempts and terrorist attacks and did it all with class and grace. I think his time as president on TV was the first time that people really believed a black man could become president. Now he's helping people get insurance too, well him and this guy lol. 

Obama thank him.

President candidate turned Elect Mays Gilliam.

Yes I'm serious lol. Head of State was a "good" bad movie lol. Chris Rock, Bernie Mac as his running mate, Tamala Jones as the #snookup love interest and Nate Dogg rest his soul:

Need I say more lol?

Seriously though the reason why I picked Mays was that he was a black man on the campaign trail surprisingly rallying people...who does that sound like?

Obama thank him.

President Tom Beck.

This is simply off the strength of Morgan Freeman. What's Freeman's most remembered role? Without the shadow of a doubt Lean on Me. He was such a powerful leader in that movie that whenever we see him we think about that. Even though he wasn't nearly as powerful in Deep Impact he was in the ultimate position of power. All we saw was the leader from Lean on Me playing the President of the United States. That held weight. 

Obama thank him.

Dave Chappelle as Black Bush

I miss Chappelle's Show so much. Chappelle had a skit in which he played the aforementioned Tim Beck but his greatest assist to Obama came as Black Bush. That portrayal, while funny, was true: Bush cared about avenging his father and getting oil. Chappelle was able to highlight those truths in a comedic way, making it easier for people to realize it and realize we don't want another republican in office. Who am I kidding? That joint was funny as hell lol: 

Either way, Obama thank him.

A Wake Up Call

On Friday I ended a month stint as a day camp counselor at The Boys Club of New York, Abbe Clubhouse out in Queens. It was a very interesting and mostly fun experience. There were however some trying moments. Nonetheless, I learned a lot of things.

I really love counseling. It's extremely fun and it provides an opportunity to make an impact on the lives of children. I've counseled at various summer camps and after school programs here in New York (City and State) and Atlanta, GA. As my time wound down at my former job I was looking for a counseling position to have some fun as a final hooray before school starts in September. I was able to land the spot out in Queens, thanks to what some may call nepotism but what I call connections lol.

As I mentioned, it was a fun summer. I was assigned to the Mega Trips department where we went on trips daily. Pretty awesome. The main issue that I had was that I felt that while I was ensuring the kids safety and fun (my job), I wasn't making an impact emotionally and contributing to the improvement of their lives (my responsibility) the way that I was used to. The boys didn't really respect me, look up to me, draw inspiration from me or even listen to me like I was used to.

In previous positions I was able to build bonds with kids and help improve their lives. This is something I take pride in and love doing. I didn't feel that at this camp, and it was truly a shock and a wake up call. When I thought about why it was this way I was even more shocked.

I have been told by many people that my greatest talent is the way I can connect with children, all children, but "At Risk" children in particular. You know the black/minority, from the hood, chip on their shoulder, fitting for survival, products of non-ideal parenting situations, etc. type of children.

*Sidenote I've always hated that term "At Risk." At risk of what? Being great? Nah. Being a problem, criminal, dumb, dying, etc. Ugh I hate it.*

I digress. People always ask me and wonder why am I so good at connect with these types of children. I never have a great answer for them. It's really just that I am one of them. Plain and simple. This was my calling card, one that I thought would never fail and I was wrong.

For the most part the boys at the camp and clubhouse in general face some of those attributes (disadvantages) that I mentioned earlier and that I share with them. So I was shocked that I couldn't connect with them. It was really the first time this has happened to me.

I realized that while I may have shared similar life stories to those boys, I wasn't one of them. The Boys Club is indeed that a club. Almost every male in that building had been a member of the club as a child themselves. If not, they had been working there for as long as the boys could remember. I was just an outsider, just a random person. I had a lot to offer but I couldn't make a mark.

(Granted I was only there for a month, so maybe I'm over thinking the whole thing lol).

On an aside, yesterday morning I also thought about how I wasn't the only black man or one of the few black men around. The club is full of positive black male role models. I've always been used to being one of few/or the only black role model. When that's the case it's easy for me to make an impact. This got me thinking about other situations where positive black models are the norm (Morehouse immediately comes to mind) and how one makes an impact in a situation like that. (See how my mind works? lol) I'll have to call my mentor and ask him since he is at Morehouse.

Anyway, the point that I took from it all was that we all need more preparation. No matter how good we are at something and how much we can hang our hats on it, it will not always work. We must be able to use other tools when our best one/go to one doesn't work. Even though I'm getting ready to start school anyway, I'm happy I had this wake up call because it totally reaffirms my decision. I hope that we all can realize, sooner rather than later, that we aren't there yet and that we always need to seek improvement.

I also hope that I was able to make some impact at the camp.

"We're All Ambassadors"

This was the main idea of a great conversation I had with a Taxi driver (and no it wasn't on some Taxi Cab Confession foolishness). We were speaking about racial profiling in regards to hailing taxis.

Unlike #beige New Yorkers who can just put there hand out and get one I need the aid of a woman (usually #beige). She puts her hand out and when the taxi stops she opens the door and I come running from behind a lamp post and dive in.

I thought it was a miracle that I was able to hail this taxi without using my normal method. I let the driver know how I felt and thanked him and that's when the conversation started. He told me he takes everyone and gives everyone a chance despite the common (mis)beliefs of his colleagues. He says he does so because he believes that "We're all ambassadors" and if we don't do a good job representing whatever it is we represent it hurts us more than it does anyone else.

For him that means picking up every possible fare so that people don't build a negative perception of taxi drivers. For me it was to not only pay my fare, but tip on top of it so that young black dudes wearing bookbags (my description that night lol) have a chance of getting a cab.

This concept is not new to me at all. I've been taught that while I'm a representation of myself, I'm also a representation of others like: my race, gender, affiliations, what have you. Its always nice to get that reminder though and I appreciated the driver for giving it to me in a new way, telling me I'm an ambassador. He said that we must do the best we can to be the best ambassador possible. I agreed.

It made me think of some of my stringent beliefs when i was younger. I believed that those of us who "make it" have the responsibility of being an outstanding example of our race. We must work the hardest, look and dress the best, know the most and so on. The most important thing I believed was that we must never, never do anything that would cast our race in a negative light, support a stereotype or give #thebeige confirmation. I came to realize that it's impossible to do this all the time (Malcolm X is probably the closest to doing it) and way too much pressure. We're human and we like to have fun.

I know all about this lol. I do my best to be that outstanding example but I fall short a lot. I get drunk, laugh obnoxiously loud, eat fried chicken, say nigga, bob my head when I hear a baseline, jump out of my seat when someone spins on the baseline and throws down a ridiculous dunk, whatever. In any of those moments I'm a poor ambassador. Does it mean that I'm not a good one overall? No. I'm just a young black dude having fun lol. However in most instances I'm aware of my responsibility as an ambassador, and I do my best to represent. At the very least we should all be aware of this. And at best we should try to be the best ambassadors we can.

Fellas, We MUST Be The Fathers

Over the weekend traveling home I saw this (Black) man and his two sons. It made me happy, so much so that I tweeted about it:

FullCupLover  I love seeing fathers with their kids...makes me happy...

The responses I got back from the tweet made me think about a few things that bother me and some potential solutions.

All the responses/retweets I got were from women (thank you ladies). It bothered me that no brothers responded. Women can't be the only people who share this happiness with me. Of all the brothers that follow me no one feels the same way? Can't be true, at least I don't think so. When thinking about the reason behind this two things immediately came to mind: the macho attitude we carry and the resentment we have against our fathers.

We men have been socialized/conditioned to never show our emotions (thank you society). Never show any weakness. Admitting something equates to being wrong about something or needing help. We men rarely admit anything for those reasons, we can't say we were wrong about something or God forbid that we needed something. So maybe no males responded because they don't want to seem weak for admitting fatherhood makes them happy.

 

Or maybe its that resentment thing. Some, maybe even most, of us have so much resentment for our fathers, those males (not men) who failed to be our father. The fact that they weren't there hurts us so much we can't admit that we wish they were. Instead we say: "Fuck him." We resent him so much that the sight of a man with his kids, a man being a Real Father pisses us off because we didn't get to experience it ourselves. Once again: "Fuck him."

Its certainly a combination of both of those things, both of which are harmful and can hinder our potential as fathers. Nothing good comes from hiding our emotions. When we keep all those negative emotions inside we're suicide bombers. Those emotions act like a time bomb, ticking away waiting to explode. When those explosions happen the people around us get hurt and so do we. The resentment acts as the fuel behind those bombs, just adding to those negative emotions. The longer we resent, the stronger those emotions become and bigger and harmful the explosions.

Resentment is a natural reaction but as much as possible we must not let it fuel time bombs. Not an easy task. We have to start by letting those emotions out. Talk about with someone, preferably a brother who may be going through it as well. We can talk to our boys about all types of foolishness: the girl we trying get with, our Superbowl picks, music, our favorite movies, whatever. A conversation about our absent fathers shouldn't be so hard. If you feel you can't talk about it with ya boys re-evaluate your friends. Getting those emotions out will make you feel  a lot better and prevent them from adding up. It will also take the resentment from being the fuel for negative emotions to being motivation to become the best father possible. Then we can slowly begin to clear out all the negative emotions, and maybe one day forgive than guy (maybe lol).

Turning that resentment into a positive fuel is so important. Once we do it we can then start thinking and talking about what we wished we had, the kinds of thing we wanted to do or hear, what we wished our fathers to be. Those thoughts/conversations evolve into what kind of fathers we want to be. Its not just something that we can should think/talk about, we can actually put it in action now even if we aren't fathers yet. Practice all the fatherly skills you think/talk about with your friends, nieces/nephews, cousins, mentees, any young person who crosses your path. Encourage the young fathers you encounter. All it takes is a "Keep doing a good job man" to keep that brotha going. We can do it brothers, matter of fact we MUST, its our responsibility.

 
Related tracks: Stay -Fabolous ft Marsha Ambrosius, Daddy -Juelz Santana, Be a Father to Your Child -Ed O.G. and Da Bulldogs, Where Have You Been? -Jay-Z and Beanie Siegel,